Finding the Spiritual Path
It took me a while to find the Spiritual Path - and then I was never sure I was on the right one within the spiritual world where there were so many different ways to go.
The spiritual world is inside my head - in my mind, in my imagination. The only thing I know for sure is that my spiritual world is real - because I feel it to be real. There are moments when I feel strongly connected to it - often stimulated by the actual physical world that I live in. It can be beauty - the magnificence of a sunset that turns the clouded sky to crimson and behind it deepens the light blues of evening into an indigo darkness. It might be the beauty of a flower attended by the bee. Trees and landscapes, seascapes and snow lines are all gateways to the spiritual path. And so are the interiors of beautiful cathedrals and churches and music - and the art created by the human hand and eye. It is all wonderful.
And is there a God? I am not always sure - because I have an old image of God that is hard to erase from my mind - and yet I feel there is something - a transcendental force - or maybe a being that somehow sits at the heart of the spiritual world I inhabit in my mind.
It was so easy a long time ago when I was young. I was brought up in a Christian household, taken to church every Sunday, sent to a Boarding School where we had a chapel service every morning and three times on a Sunday. I took it all in - Old Testament as well as new. It all made sense because I knew of nothing else and I was totally unthreatened by life - there was nothing that could rock my faith.
But then I left the comfort of that boarding school and went into the real world with its unfairness, its cruelty and its unhappiness. It was difficult to justify my faith in the world. An evangelical friend I was in the army with used to tell me that sin was the cause of the unhappiness - the whole world was sinful - and if only people accepted Jesus, sin would be no more - but he couldn’t explain why children died - except to say it must have been the sin of their fathers.
So I left it - but the culture of Christianity is hard to shake off - we always seem to refer back to it - when we don’t really want to. Years of belonging bring baggage. I thought of myself as a Free Christian. I was free as a prisoner released from gaol but who still has the experience in his head - free but somehow still bound to it. I was free but I was still chained to the culture I wanted to escape from totally. I wanted to start again.
I was fortunate in finding the Unitarians. Because I felt I had found my own tribe. It is great to find your tribe - like minded people with like minded views and like minded attitudes. When you find them the connection is immediate and the friendship will always be longstanding. I could never explain the beliefs of the Unitarians - because they are such a diverse lot with a range of different ideas. What I do appreciate is that they are people with principles and values. Their attitude is that life is fun. They are all different; all individuals. They care about things and they usually do something about what they care about. What makes them into a tribe is that invisible something that links them together and makes them friends. It may be an invisible harmonising energy like the ether. Maybe they simply recognise the free spirit in other people. Their spiritual paths are all different though I have met some who were also on my path.
Religion and culture are chained together. It always seems odd to me that many Muslims in Britain use the dress code of Wahabi Saudi Arabia to express their faith - wearing the long white thobes that are suitable for the desert because they are cool to walk in. Their faith chains them to the culture of Mecca. Many are torn between the culture of their faith and the culture of where they live.
I have a friend who is a Roman Catholic priest - We both are members of the Bolton Interfaith Council and we often hold an Open Forum where members of the public can join in a debate about religion - or one of the faiths in the town. On one occasion we were discussing the role of women in faith - the fact they do all the work for the least recognition and least opportunity for a leadership role.
He would always begin, ‘Well Tony is a Unitarian.’
But he was pressed on the issue of women priests and celibacy. ‘Yes’, he said, ‘ Everyone wants to change and modernise the church - that is the way of the world right now - everything is constantly revised, modernised, improved, rebranded. What the Catholic Church offers is certainty. In a modern age that wants to change everything, we do not change - haven’t changed for fifty years.’
It is true. That is exactly what many people do want - certainty. To be able to believe in spite of all that is changing around them. To have a faith rooted in a religion that exists - or seems to exist - outside the reality of life - that won’t change even when at times its certainty has been wrong - its doctrines far far away from the teachings of love and tolerance that came from its founder Jesus. It became an institution that was keen to preserve itself at all costs. And many people in many churches of whatever denomination do want certainty. It is safe. Accept or leave or be asked to leave is the alternative so they accept and they are comfortable. But I like the uncertainty of faith - the constant challenges and the need to engage and think about what you believe in. Uncertainty makes for a dynamic religion.
Much more comfortable am I in my spiritual wilderness looking for the right path. A free christian trying to be free of my christian baggage.
And when I tried to ditch all that baggage I found that some of it was worth keeping after all - it was not the certainty - or the institution or promises of hell or eternal life - but the teachings and parables and miracles that show us how to live a good life - letting our light shine, not being judgemental of those who are of a different class or nationality or occupation; seeing other human beings as equals not inferiors - or even superiors; of doing your best and seeing the best in others. I liked all that and I still find it inspiring - even though I am not sure about the figure of Jesus. Was he real? Was he no more than a mythological figure who never actually truly existed; was he a copy from some other ancient religion?
Then I thought, why am I so worried about this - more worried about this than about those special teachings and parables and miracles.
So I stopped worrying. I don’t worship Jesus but he was a gateway to the spiritual path. I felt much freer then.
And he is not the only gateway. I have to thank my tutors at the Unitarian College when I was training for ministry. The one who encouraged me to study world faiths as part of a degree course and thus introduced me to Hinduism, Buddhism and Zoroastrianism in particular. Hindus don’t worry whether their Gods are wholly divine or wholly human - or what proportion of either - Some like Krsna are simply gods - avatars - who take human form to teach the faith. The Bhagavad Gita, said to be the words of the God Krsna are as wonderful as those of the Sermon on the Mount.
The other introduced me to earth centred spirituality - that divinity is all around us - it is the earth itself. We live in a spiritual realm - if only we can tune into it - or simply appreciate it as an energy that affects all life and feeling.
That makes sense of the sunset and the snow clad mountain top. Nature may be red in tooth and claw; species eating and hunting each other, yet there is an incredible beauty in it all - an energy that makes us love what we see and feel connected to it. The earth, stars and all that is out there is one great transcendental something and we are part of it. The spiritual path is flowing with it.
It all brings me closer to God - though I still do not fully comprehend how God is. Not for me though the God of the Old Testament who rewards and punishes and changes lives in a haphazard way - leaving some to suffer and some to triumph without justification.
One of the Early Church Bishops, Marcion, tried to dump the Old Testament God altogether and said the loving God of Jesus was a better God - and Jesus had brought a new religion to the world - not a different version of an old one. Marcion was shouted down - because they said the Old Testament prophecies justify all the claims for Jesus to be the Messiah so it must remain - so Christianity ended up with two versions of God.
I love the old Sufi story by Ibn Bin Attur - the Conference of the Birds. It is a parody on the search for God. The birds are encouraged to go on a pilgrimage to seek the Simorgh - the mythical God like Bird of the East. Many refuse to go, saying the way is too difficult but finally after many adventures a remnant of thirty of them do make it to the Simorgh’s palace, they are weary and bedraggled. What do they find there? Just a Palace of Mirrors - and they realise then that they have found God - in themselves - In Arabic, Simorgh means, ‘thirty birds’
I have yet to find God on my spiritual path. Whether there really is a he - or a she - or even an androgynous ‘It’, I do not know.
I say to myself that God - I know no other word to express what I feel - God is a mystery - a presence - an enigma - a greater reality - there are so many phrases to explain what we are unable to explain.
I don’t really worship the mystery presence I have to call God - but I do say Thank You - and often.
In the prayers I write, I say that God looks down on the suffering of the world - and if you look back, you will find an inner strength to help you cope. You might surprisingly find help from someone else too - but that is about angels - another mystery.
So I go on my spiritual path - there is much yet to discover, I am sure. It is all in my mind, my imagination, I know, but my path has given me a wonderful freedom in life - and it forms my religious base. So I call myself a Unitarian and feel part of the Unitarian tribe - and I am content with that - and I travel this intriguing way called the Spiritual Path.
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