Ramadan
Muslims who are to fast through the month of Ramadan which begins today will not eat or drink or smoke between sunrise and sunset for a lunar month of twenty eight days.
In the Middle East this will be for about twelve hours each day at the hottest time of the year. It is a difficult routine to get into and the first few days take the most willpower until the body and mind adjusts.
In the old days you might be able sleep away the daylight hours and eat and relax at night. But nowadays many have to work through the day so it is a bigger challenge.
In this country this daily fast might have to last for eighteen hours each day.
Nearly all religious faiths practice fasting in one way or another. Christians observe Lent as a period of self denial, particularly in relation to something that is a luxury and a bit addictive, like chocolate.
Hindus fast frequently, abstaining from all food for a period of thirty six hours.
Fasting is a mental and a physical challenge to overcome an established routine. There is a strong sense of community when everyone is fasting together.
It is also a Time to reflect on the spiritual teachings of the religion. Fasting focuses the mind.
It is to think of those in poverty who suffer hunger every single day of their lives. It is to reflect on your own life and make it stronger.
I am Tony McNeile a Unitarian
Reflections in a beer glass
The other evening I had gone to the pub with my friend. We'd been reminiscing about the good old bad old days and then there was a pause. We were each staring into our beer and thinking.
My friend looked up and said, 'if you could put the clock back, where would you go, what would you change?
I took another sip. Maybe back to those important school days. This time I would stop looking out of the window and listen to what the teacher was saying. I would do my homework too.
Or maybe I would go back to that first job interview which I didn't get and be a bit more confident and tell them I was definitely the man for them and was going to change the world.
And what about that girl friend. If I had remembered her birthday she might not have dumped me.
So many might have beens. So many choices have been made along the way, some good, some bad. So many changes which weren't planned . Some regrets, some moments I wouldn't have missed for the world.
Children I wouldn't like to have done without.
So looking back, I take note of the mistakes but I really like being where I am now, with the friends I have now and the family.
Maybe if I had done my homework at school I would still have ended up happy in Bolton, talking on the radio. It might all be fate.
I am Tony McNeile a Unitarian
Fathers Day
It is Father's Day on Sunday. We used to celebrate Father's Day with a bowls match against the ladies of the church.
They were supposed to let us win but that competitive streak usually got the
better of them.
Once upon a time the father had a distinct role in the family. He was seen as the bread winner, the head of the household, their champion and model. He came home from work and tea was on the table.
Times have changed. The traditional roles have changed. Family life works better when there is shared commitment and shared responsibility.
Marriage does not commit a woman to the kitchen nor elevate a man to the top seat at the table.
Many more couples are in relationships rather than held within a marriage contract.
Most fathers are involved in the lives of their children since the very moment of birth.
Some fathers become disconnected from their children. Step fathers are a plentiful group.
But fathers are still special whatever group we put them into.
Fathers Day is simply a day for recognising father for being just that. It is a way of saying thank you for everything you are to your children and family. Thank you for the love you give, thank you for all the good things you do for them and the time you give them.
Let's enjoy it this Sunday and if it is an opportunity to mend broken fences why not go for it.
I am Tony McNeile a Unitarian.
The activist
A long time ago I was a shift worker. On the night shift, life was a little easier. There were no daytime bosses around, as long as the jobs were done, we could take a little longer over tea breaks and talk more on the job.
One night I came into work feeling frustrated. The government of the day had made some announcement which had annoyed my sense of justice and I was sounding off while the kettle boiled.
No one else seemed to care and that made me feel angry.
One of the old hands took me aside and said, 'it's no good just moaning about it in here. If that's how you feel do something about it'.
So I did and I think they all-breathed a sigh of relief.
I joined a political party. I campaigned at elections, I delivered leaflets, I attended meetings. I worked hard to try and change a system that didn't really want to change.
Once I challenged for a seat on a council and lost but at least I gained a few hundred votes. I wasn't the only idealist in the town.
And I learned how democracy works in this country.
I learned too about frustration and anger.
Out of control it can lead to violence. Under control it can be turned into positive energy.
The ripples I made might have been small, I admit. But at least I tried. And change may happen, one day, with you.
I am Tony McNeile a Unitarian.
Walk for Life
My taxi driver in Dublin talked about his son who is a medical student. The son had started a group called 'Walk for Life'.
His professor said to him, 'You coul save more lives with this than you might as a doctor'.
The Walk for Life is to help young people who are feeling suicidal, well for people of any age.
It is so simple, you go for a walk with a trained listener and talk. Talk about anything. Feelings and fears.
There is something about walking together that makes talking so much easier. Maybe because there is little eye contact. Maybe because it is non confrontational. Maybe it helps just being outside in the natural world.
There is a programme on Dutch TV called the Wanderling. Ordinary people who have been victim or hero in some horrific event that made the headlines, walk and talk with a gentle interviewer about their experience.
Talking is a post traumatic cure.
People can talk if someone will listen - and listening is a skill.
Our usual instinct when someone is talking is to jump in with our own story - not the right thing to do when that person needs to talk.
The listener should basically just listen.
Talking becomes a safety valve that lifts the pressure on those locked up feelings and let's them flow freely.
We can all help in the Walk for Life. When a time for talking and a time for listening can save a life.
I am Tony McNeile a Unitarian.
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